I know someone

I know a woman who is that tall that she has to stand on a chair to comb her hair.

I  know a young bloke that is so pretentious he is putting air bags on his skate board.

I know a set of twins where one twin looks more like the other one than the other one does herself.

I know a man that is invisible, I haven't seen him for some time now.

I know a woman that is often beside herself, which she claims  is her favorite position.

I know a  man that is that thin that he has to jump sideways to create a shadow.

I know a  young bloke who is  that quick he can turn the bedroom light off at the door and be in  bed before the room gets dark.

I know a lady that breeds Lamas but her animals only eat Salami, German Sausage, Stuffed Olives and particularity love Gherkins in vinegar.  It appears that her animals are Deli Lamas.

I  know a bloke that came up with a brilliant idea in how to make the welfare queues shorter.  "Get 'em all to stand closer together." He offered.  I don't  think it has been trialled yet.