Friday, November 23, 2012

The Adventures - part three

For part one - start here.

"Vee needen the gear a campin," Heidi said.
"Ya' Vol," Pete uttered wot little Swedish he knew, only it ain't but I'm not gunna tell him.
"Ya-who?" asked Heidi.
"Ya-hoo to you too," said Pete of Old.

As it turned out, another camel was needed to take the few home comforts that had been laid out for packing, so Old Pete headed off to Wrggling Bros Circus wot was doin' the rounds around the place where Old Pete was around, and he purchased, by paying money to the bloke wot sold him the camel, another camel, not a V8 but more the cargo type, which was not such a big problem as the two V8's could tow the cargo camel along at a fair old lickity-split, which in camel handlers terms was pronounced lickety-split.

I intend to give educational education to the reader, so that the reader may become educated in the things that are educational. So I looked up the word Lickety-Split in a dictionary where you find words wot have meanings, and it said, much the same as I have told ya' already.

I am rather pleased with this educational investigation, as I now know that you will not have any, or as much, or less doubt about the fair dinkum things that will be imparting to you if you do not depart before I can tell ya'. Ifn' ya' know wot I mean.

Now that they had a full compliment of camels, not that I have ever heard anyone compliment these smelly beasts, but they wuz there to use so they would be, smelly and used, and Heidi got to load up her spa bath for the trip.

Just the essentials were taken, and the inventory looked summit like this:

Fridge/Freezer one off. Gas stove and oven one off, each of. 240v generator and fuel one off and some of. Gas bottles for the using in stove there of. Double bunks and mattresses, one off for two of. Tent and pegs many off, but only one off tent for use of. Various pots and pans various off. Stirling silver cutlery set, candelabra and Irish linen table cloths, enough off to last the trip off. One mahogany dining table and 4 chairs in case of visitor's off. Dunny, portable, one off marked Bloke and Sheila for use of. Large mirror for Heidi to look at her self in, one off. Smaller mirror for Old Pete to cut his face in, one off. And of course, sundry items not mentioned, many and sundry off.

Included were bags of feed, potatoes, pumpkin and carrots for the camels there off. Harness, and various other stuff needed for an adventure such as this would be inclined to be.

The local press were invited to iron some clothes before they started, and a reporter from a newspaper as well. As it turned out this adventure made the front page of the one page local rag, and was seen by many of those that looked at it.

Mostly, for some unknown reason the crowd that attended the beginning of this adventure hung around Heidi as she bent down to pick up stuff to toss up to Old Pete who stood high on the cargo camel like a haystack stacker who wuz stacking a haystack only it was a cargo camel wot was being stacked, not hay, hey?

The headline in the local rag read: Swedish Backpacker Breasts the Outback. Old Pete only got a mention as being her great grand daddy, which he weren't, and which he would never know it was said as the local rag didn't get sent to the territory, so it don't matter and I can't think why I even mentioned it at all.

And so it came to be, that on a day in the lives of those that were alive and around at the time of the departure, saw the pair of intrepid adventurers depart for places Outback.

One incident that they could have done without is that one of the V8's accelerated off the mark a bit too quick, and almost broke the neck of the cargo camel who was still getting up off the ground; however, Heidi, who had mastered (or is that mistered) the ways of fast accelerating V8 camels, soon had the beast under control, and was not in the least embarrassed by the fact that her button-less shirt almost blew clean off her precious little body, but the flash light of the box-brownie of the local rag photographer, did help in the fact that it almost blinded the camel and half the bystanders wot wuz standing by.

"We should make Broken Hill by afternoon, Heidi," Old Pete calculated.
"Vas is vee gunna make Broken Hill do, Old Pete?"
So, Poor Old Pete had to explain that they wasn't gunna make Broken Hill do nuffin' and it was only a term of phrase that was used to indicate summit else.
"Vas iss summit,Old Pete?"
So poor Old Pete had to explain that it was his vernacular way of saying 'something'.
"Vas iss vernacular, Old Pete?"
And so it went on, day in and day out, mile after mile, week after week, hour after hour ..."Vas iss Old Pete?"
But Old Pete really didn't mind as he has someone to talk to, who wore a shirt with no buttons, which was really important.

So ended day one of the Adventures. The camp was set up just on the outskirts of the big mining town what had lots of mines that they minded for the miners.

I told you they were V8 camels, so don't go making funny faces at the distance travelled in a day. You want me to sit here all day and all night writing stuff just so you can make mock? Vell letten me tellink you, I ain't gunna!

See wot them miners think of the camels in part four

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