Old Pete Sez: I don't get to chat a lot, but when I do, I chat a lot.
Old Pete Sez: No matter how hard you try, somone is gunna say, "try harder".
Old Pete Sez: If you have great success in life, others must have been abject failures.
Old Pete sez: Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jill came down with half a crown...Did she go up for water?
Old Pete Sez: I knew a bloke that was so mean, if he cut you a slice of bread there would only be one side to it.
Old Pete sez: Once a w oman called me excessivly drunk, Old Pete answered "You are excessevly ugly, but I will be sober in the morning.