Two Mates at the Pub

My mate, Norm, he doesn't usually get despondent, well not up to, maybe the tenth schooner, but normally, like when us blokes are 'bonding' in the pub.

As you know bonding between us blokes is a very important part of our development.  There is no way we could be such good partners if it wasn't for the male bonding thing.  It is also well known that the only suitable place to male bond is at the pub, the club, the footy, the race track and all those great male bonding venues, right?

So, I was bonding with me' mate, Norm. I had just had a beer with Duncan, who is also a mate, but it seemed that I could not go home and leave Norm in his deep despondent mood.  No self respecting bonded male would, would you, mate?

"Mate," Norm said, "Mate, I don't have any idea what I have done wrong. I've tried to be what every woman expects of her man." 

I could see that this might be a bit of a long session so I ordered a couple more schooners, and took the money out of the change in front of Norm, that's what mates are for, hey?

"Mate,"Norm said again, although I am pretty sure he knows my name, "Mate, what are ya' supposed to do? I mean women expect a man to spend more time at the pub with their mates, than they do at home with her and the kids, I do that, but it makes no difference. My missus," who I am sure Norm also knows by name, continued, "Take taking out the garbage, I don't take out the garbage because she would not be able to say, 'You never take out the garbage', would she, mate?"

"Yeah Mate! They are never satisfied," I offered.

"Ill tell ya' wot, mate, they are never satisfied," Norm mumbled in the bubbles of his beer.

"When are ya' gunna' mow the lawn?" she yells. "I'll do it tomorra', I say. 'No leave it, I'll do it' she rants. So what am supposed to say, I mean tomorra' there is a good game on TV between the blues and the other mob. I mean she expects me to watch the footy instead of mowin' the lawn, so what is she on about?"

"Ya' got me, Mate, They are never satisfied, that's the problem."

And I know my wisdom has helped me' mate Norm in his problem, otherwise there would be no point in male bonding, eh?

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