Saturday, December 15, 2012

The Adventures - part six

We left Old Pete and Heidi, in what could be a compromising situation if anyone had made any com-promises, that is, but they hadn't so it was all right.

Reddie had arrived at the camp of the intrepid, and very brave travellers as the pair were having intercourse, as Heidi explained it to the Old fella.

"Vee haff intercourse, yah!"

"Aw, I dunno. I reckon we should just sit and have a bit of a chat".

"It iss not like the humnpy bumpy intercourse, you silly man, it iss the talky talky intercourse, it iss called social intercourse."

"I knew that." Old Pete tried to cover his embarrassment and some other thing that got in the way as he thought about...well you know what he was thinking about when Heidi made the offer.(as above) and that made Old Pete more confused as he thought of Heidi, (as above) whilst intercommunicating during the intercourse.

G'day Doctor Reddie, " Old Pete smiled happily, which was the only way he knew how to smile, as he had not perfected the wry smile, or the sarcastic smile, or the knowing smile, he only could do a reasonable job on the happy smile and he decided to just settle for that one, so that he would not be confused later.

"Boy, you go a long way on your after hours rounds, Hey?" He observed, expressing  his observation.

"Am I interrupting anything, Old Pete?" asked Reddie who had not heard the previous conversation of Old Pete and Heidi which was spoke previously before.

"We wuz jist about to have intercourse, wanna join?" Old Pete said cordially.

"Certainly sounds interesting," Reddie reddened , ready to be really ready for any readiness that was needed, however...( There is always a however) Heidi explained that Old Pete's cordial must have been the red type, and it has made him a bit hyper summit, and that , indeed Dr Reddie could join in.

"What a shame," The Good (sometimes) Doctor said.

And so, it came to pass that on this day, in deference to other days, and at this particular place and time, in deference to other places and times, that there was a good rollicking social intercourse conducted in the Outback. It took several bottles of plonk to loosen things, like the tongues of the tongue tired, who were at that stage rather tired in the tongue, and there was, of course, the obligatory campfire which such situations are obliged to supply, and without which the problems of the world would never be fixed, verbally, if not in the physical sense which means like actually doing anything that would fix anything, but at least, those here-so-therefore gathered, would know the method of fixation, as the wine warmed the insides and the fire the outside creating a perfect 'well done' condition within the participants that took part.

As the sun broke the morning sky (I'll leave that one) the red of the desert sands reddened the redness of the morning, ready to wake the damnable flies as the camels grazed on the sparse, or virtually none, or total lack of, or opposite to abundant grass, waiting for the bag of 98 octane chaff oats, wheat germ, musili, dried grapes and dates, liberally coated with molasses, with copious amounts of aqua fresca, ( A little touch of academia never hurt anyone, other than the academic nation) which is the normal fare of the bush camel in this country, or so the bloke wot sold them to Old Pete had said.

Heidi Jumped from the silk sheets of her double bed, cast aside the fine Irish gauze that protected her from something or other, and dashed off to complete, in order of preference, and which took in ablutions, just as many do in the mornings, I mean without ablution one suffers. Heidi took time in her make up, cleaning her pearly white teeth, brushing her flowing locks , and then combing the hair on her head as well. After these few things were completed, Heidi often dressed before tending the camels, but not this time, just to spice things up a bit.

In the meantime, Dr Reddie and Old Pete found themselves in each other embrace. Not that they were lost or nuffin', it was just that this is where they found themselves, but that seems to be going around in circles, or even in elliptical roundness, or whatever.

"Oh! Old Pete, I love you." Reddie said.

"Yeah, I gathered that from your savage attack on my person on the night gone, and I must say, Doctor, that unless you promise to keep up this activity, I may have to convince you otherwise."

"Oh! Old Pete, you have a way with words, But, my sweet, what the...Did they mean?"

"Dunno, they just fall out sometimes.".

"Well, not to worry, but here's the thing. Now that we are lovers I can no longer be your doctor."

"What a bummer!"

"Would you rather keep me as a doctor, and not as your lover, then?"

"Dunno, I ain't sick yet." Pete said graciously. He had a way about him, did Old Pete. He could turn a phrase, like flipping a pancake in a greasy frying pan. He could flatter a shelia with "G'Day, you're a grouse lookin' shelia.", and if that didn't work,he would add, "Bet ya' hot in the cot too." That always got 'em, and it probably explains why Old Pete has never been married.

"I have told you how I feel, Old Pete, and now it is up to you. I am heading off soon, back to work in the burbs where the suburbs are in suburbia."

"Yeah! Well, thanks Doctor Reddie." Old Pete, as you can see is not the fastest thinker on the block.

"Bye Heidi, keep an eye on Old Pete for me." and the depleted doctor came to the stupid old nutter and kissed him on the mouth, pushing half a fried egg and a lump of mutton down his throat in the process.

"Heidi waved a farewell, that was fairly well waved considering that she was not well, but she was fair, all the fine upstanding nakedness of her.

The rising dust, and the squeak of the pedals could be seen and heard, in conjunction with each activity as it is explained, to elucidate, dust never seems to squeak, however, pedals can be dusty. So, dear reader pay attention to the words or you wont be able to read anything.

We will, Of course, continue this gripping and factual story, but I will have to stay on me' pills fer a while.

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