Sunday, April 28, 2013

Battlers Meat Market

'Orrite, you lot, I reckon that it is about time that I take a serious look at the things that trouble us, or you, or will trouble you if you keep reading this.

I am a meat eater, I am on about the second or third level of the food chain, but I do like to eat meat. It is my preference to have this meat cooked, and cooked to almost perfection, as was possible in time long gone when perfect was attainable and I was lucky enough to become saturated in that commodity.

I also like vegies, all sorts of vegetation has passed my lips, and been ingested into my lungs, some for the food value, others for some stupid reason or other, but I only put this information out to you so that you can see that I am anti-ambidextrous as far as eating is concerned, meaning that I can eat what is right, but often do not appreciate what is left, or summit, ifn' ya know what I mean.

My latest vendetta is against the large display of blood soaked flesh, the twisted and turned conglomerate of animal tissue, either in the whole, or bagged in the intestines of other beasts, and called sausages, that one will encounter in the suburban Supermarkets of the Wealthy Moguls that say, as did Josephine, “Let them eat cake”. Of course, Jo wasn't offering a nice strawberry sponge, as her interpretation of 'cake' was worse than stale bread, as is the interpretation of meat in the supermarket-mogul-dictionary of “cake eating for the battlers”.

But, us battlers, or as I should say, we battlers, which puts us into a brotherhood of some sort, are in a situation where you have to make the best of what your massive pension will allow you to buy, after the money for the Lotto, the pokies and the Bingo nights are taken out as essential living costs, Right? With any luck at the pokies, you may even have some left over for a beer.

So, Come shopping day, food shopping that is, after filling the trolleys with Crisp chips, big bottles of the essential coke, and then the mundane things like breakfast cereal, Cocoa Pops, or Yum Yum Yummy crackled in ya' ear, stuff, which I believe can be washed down by the Coke instead of milk, as the kids suffer from that thing that kids get from milk, like calcium and other scrungy stuff, and as Coke does not have any side effects, that is noticed in the family, as all the family are on the same diet, it is only reasonable to go that road.

Don't be offended, I am amongst the battlers as far as the Supermarket trade is concerned. I push and shove, bang my trolley up the heels of the slow movers, complain about the kids that scream and place themselves in a position of peril should an intolerant old bloke should appear around the aisles.

Once I get out from amongst the slow and undecided battlers, the ones that just don't know what will go with their fillet' stake bathed in Diane sauce from the shelves of the French cuisine, that night, or should they buy pink or orange candles to decorate the table, I can make a few selections from the shelves in the cheap and nasty section, and thus saving myself, almost nothing, I have never sat down and compared the savings, but that is my problem as I am sure the battlers consider every cent they have saved against the price of a packet of fags. I do not enjoy that situation of being able to complain about the costs of fags.

Arriving at the meat selection's array of dead animals that would have broken all age records if left in the paddock for another week or so, I ponder the meanings of Export quality, man if it was export quality they would have bloody well exported it to get the big money.

We also have Market Quality. Now do they tell you which market? No, of course not, as most battlers would bypass this one if they knew that the Market that accepts this quality are companies like Pal, or the Victorian meat pie market in the footy season. I kid you not.

I had a very, hard pressed manager say to me one day, “There is nothing wrong with our meat, it is the best, I eat it all the time.” Curious comment you would agree. If he ate it all the time, what did he compare it to to state it was the best.

One should not complain, as every cloud has a silver lining, just as Supermarket meat has a blood soaker attached.

Some Rump Steak that I purchased some months ago is still wearing well. I could not eat it so I made a pair of thongs from the stuff, and, mate, talk about hard wearing, they are going to outlast the rubber/vinyl ones I used to wear to the beach, but, of course, I have to keep an eye on the dogs.

Bye the way, Thongs in Aussie land are what you wear on your feet, not what the girls get stuck up their what's -ya' -call it after a hard day horse riding, ifn' ya' know what I mean.

So, the upshot of all this is, we battlers must revolt, it is our right to be revolting, what right do the ferals and the rent a mob cult have at being the only ones that reek revulsion.

We must join forces, lets not buy meat from the Supermarkets, let's patronise the local butcher, and then when you pay more money than you can afford, only to find out he gets his meat is from the same slaughter yard as the Supermarkets, go back and get some mince from the Supermarket.

Before I leave you to start your financial contributions to my cause, if you do get a really tough bit of meat, and you will, rest assured you will, this is the recipe:

Place meat in pot with water covering the lump, add a smooth stone about half the size of the meat. Boil vigorously until the stone is soft, toss meat to the dogs, if they have jaws like hyenas, and then add veggies to the broth and eat the stone.


Although I wrote this piece in satiric humour there is a serious side that I have just been informed of, and that I have had first hand experience with, not knowing what I was seeing, but taking the precaution of not eating.  Some meat is appearing on the Supermarket shelves that have cycts or tumors  in the flesh.  Should you encounter such meat you should take that meat to your local Health Department, and under no circumstances should you eat any part of this contamination, or any of the surrounding meat.

I can only  assume that meat is not being inspected under stringent health rules or requirements.

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